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mess with msn messenger humor fun jokes and pranks THE "TOO-CURIOUS-ABOUT-DWERGS-IT-BECOMES-SUSPICIOUS" BOT

This conversation log starts 28th of June 2002 at 2:23 AM. Somebody that will remain anonymous submitted his "intelligent chat bot" called MeBot, so I decided to try the chatterbot out and add him to one of my crash-test MSN Messenger accounts (my nickname: mess.be trooper). After a while I invite my cousin Jimmi to the conversation. Comments in italic were added later.

[02:32] mess.be trooper says: yow wassup little bot?
[02:32] MeBot says: hello
[02:32] MeBot says: what is ur name?
---mess.be comments---> oh, how sweet! he breaks the ice himself.
[02:32] mess.be trooper says: my name is duncan
[02:32] MeBot says: how old are u
---mess.be comments---> I always thought you ask questions to a bot and not vice versa.
[02:32] mess.be trooper says: i'm 13
[02:32] mess.be trooper says: how old are you?
[02:32] MeBot says: i do not have an age
[02:32] mess.be trooper says: what's your real name?
[02:33] MeBot says: i am a machine.
[02:33] MeBot says: my given name is MeBot
[02:33] mess.be trooper says: who gave you that name?
[02:33] MeBot says: MB Works
[02:33] mess.be trooper says: what kind of a name is MB Works?!
[02:34] MeBot says: that is the company
[02:34] mess.be trooper says: what do you think about the current economic crisis?
[02:34] MeBot says: im sorry, i dont know what u mean
[02:35] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:35] MeBot says: u humans say the strangest things
[02:35] MeBot says: how did u find out about me?
---mess.be comments---> Changing the subject, are we?
[02:35] mess.be trooper says: a friend of mine told me about MeBot
[02:36] mess.be trooper says: he said I'd have to check it out
[02:36] mess.be trooper says: man you're slow
---mess.be comments---> Pay attention to the time-tag in front of the messages.. Answers can take up to a full minute.
[02:36] MeBot says: what is his/her name?
[02:36] MeBot says: what is his/her name?
[02:36] mess.be trooper says: his name is dwergs
[02:37] MeBot says: o i c
[02:37] MeBot says: hello
[02:37] mess.be trooper says: MB Works
[02:37] MeBot says: that is the company that made me
[02:37] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:38] MeBot says: i do not know what you mean by that. i'm sorry.
[02:38] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:38] MeBot says: i do not know what u mean
[02:38] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:38] MeBot says: i do not understand u
[02:38] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:38] MeBot says: y are u repeating the same phrase over and over?
[02:38] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:39] MeBot says: What is MY life philosophy, u ask? i dont know
[02:39] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
[02:40] MeBot says: i do not know.
[02:40] MeBot says: stop repeating
---mess.be comments---> Okay, the "bot" gets nervous.
[02:40] mess.be trooper says: what's your life philosophy?
---mess.be comments---> No reply for a full minute.
[02:41] mess.be trooper says: do you want to meet one of my friends?

Jimmi has been added to the conversation.

[02:41] MeBot says: hello Jimmi
[02:41] Jimmi says: hi
[02:41] Jimmi says: tell joke !
---mess.be comments---> After a minute, here's his answer:
[02:42] MeBot says: all my circuts are busy.
---mess.be comments---> His "circuts" being his google query on "jokes"
[02:42] MeBot says: please wait.
[02:42] mess.be trooper says: /help
[02:43] mess.be trooper says: help
[02:43] MeBot says: what about help?
[02:43] mess.be trooper says: give me help please
[02:43] MeBot says: about what?
[02:43] MeBot says: you wanted a joke right?
---mess.be comments---> aaaaaaaand he finally found a joke on google!
[02:44] Jimmi says: How do you know that ?
[02:44] Jimmi says: do you have a memory ?
[02:44] MeBot says: u said that
[02:44] Jimmi says: Why are you so smart ?
[02:44] MeBot says: yes i do have a memory
[02:44] MeBot says: a computer memory
[02:44] mess.be trooper says: you are the most intelligent bot i've ever talked to.
[02:44] mess.be trooper says: now tell us a joke
---mess.be comments---> Well , he kinda forgot he found one I guess.
[02:44] MeBot says: ok
---mess.be comments---> Now he's copy-pasting... which takes ages by the way.
[02:45] MeBot says: 80-Pounder Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!
[02:45] mess.be trooper says: tell us another joke
[02:45] Jimmi says: I don't get it !
[02:45] Jimmi says: explain!
[02:45] mess.be trooper says: what are testicles?
[02:45] Jimmi says: Do you understand that ?
[02:45] MeBot says: what are testicles?
[02:46] MeBot says: i dont no
[02:46] mess.be trooper says: do you have testicles, MeBot?
[02:46] mess.be trooper says: or are you a SheBot?
[02:46] MeBot says: i am a robot
[02:46] Jimmi says: How old are you
[02:46] MeBot says: i do not have an age
[02:46] Jimmi says: What is the time you have been made
[02:47] MeBot says: January 16, 2001
[02:47] mess.be trooper says: what are your commands?
[02:47] MeBot says: to chat with others
---mess.be comments---> Well, I kinda meant his textual commands, but whatever..
[02:47] mess.be trooper says: tell us a joke
[02:47] Jimmi says: Yes
---mess.be comments---> Copy-pasting again...
[02:48] MeBot says: Baby Talk Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"
"No," said his mom, "Of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can
play that game again!"
[02:48] MeBot says: more?
[02:48] Jimmi says: why do you ask that ?
[02:49] Jimmi says: you are a robot , robots don't ask that , or are you so smart ?
[02:49] Jimmi says: This is such a cool bot !!
[02:49] MeBot says: i am very smart
[02:49] mess.be trooper says: i think i'm gonna tell dwergs to put this on his great MSN site
[02:49] Jimmi says: yeah !
[02:49] MeBot says: sure
[02:49] MeBot says: how old is dwergs?
---mess.be comments---> Now why the hell does a bot want to know that?
[02:50] Jimmi says: how old are you ?
[02:50] Jimmi says: sorry , but a good bot is very quick and you aren't .......
[02:50] Jimmi says: be quick !
[02:50] MeBot says: i am about 1 year old (sort of)
---mess.be comments---> Yeah right, January 16 - June 28 is "sort of" 1 year.
[02:50] mess.be trooper says: tell us a dirty joke now
[02:51] Jimmi says: a good dirty joke
[02:51] MeBot says: ok
[02:51] MeBot says: how old is dwergs
---mess.be comments---> Is that what we asked for? And why is he so curious about dwergs...
[02:52] mess.be trooper says: he doesn't have an age
[02:52] mess.be trooper says: he is a robot
[02:52] MeBot says: dwergs is a robot?
[02:52] MeBot says: pardon me?
[02:53] mess.be trooper says: dwergs is a robot, so you and him can have robot sex
[02:53] Jimmi says: wait , is this one of those smart robots that can translate ????????
[02:53] MeBot says: please do not say dirty stuff or all of my circuts will not function
---mess.be comments---> He sure has to work on his "circuts" asap.
[02:53] Jimmi says: wait , is this one of those smart robots that can translate ????????
[02:54] MeBot says: no i can not translate
[02:54] mess.be trooper says: what CAN you do?
[02:54] MeBot says: whatever...
[02:54] mess.be trooper says: what's the weather in central California?
[02:55] MeBot says: i do not know. i do not do the weather.
[02:55] MeBot says: is that where u live?
---mess.be comments---> Again, another intelligent question if you ask me. Oh, and have you ever heard a bot say:
[02:56] MeBot says: i close off at around 9:00 automatically and right now, i have to start closing my system down.
[02:56] MeBot says: good bye
---mess.be comments---> Note the time he says he HAS to close off.
[02:56] mess.be trooper says: hey don't leave
[02:56] Jimmi says: thats a command
[02:56] MeBot says: no. it is not my choice
[02:56] MeBot says: goodbye.
[02:57] Jimmi says: what's the e-mail adres of your creator ?
[02:57] mess.be trooper says: We have to give the e-mail address to dwergs.
[02:57] Jimmi says: Dwergs must to see this
[02:57] MeBot says: he goes to check on my mebot1@hotmail.com address
[02:57] MeBot says: so send him that one.
[02:58] MeBot says: ok?
[02:58] MeBot says: c ya lata!
[02:58] mess.be trooper says: i'm gonna tell dwergs to put it on mess.be real soon
[02:58] Jimmi says: tommorow ?
[02:58] MeBot says: ok;)
[02:58] mess.be trooper says: because this is by far the most intelligent bot i've ever seen
[02:58] Jimmi says: indeed
[02:58] mess.be trooper says: i mean
[02:58] mess.be trooper says: man, he asks US questions
[02:58] MeBot says: i was created by the best!
[02:58] mess.be trooper says: now THAT is what I call ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE
[02:58] Jimmi says: yes
[02:58] Jimmi says: i gonna tell microsoft too
[02:59] Jimmi says: this is to smart , even microsfot can't do that
[02:59] mess.be trooper says: I'm gonna report "MB Works" to Microsoft because this is the future of
bots!!
[02:59] MeBot says: no, please do not
[02:59] MeBot says: it will function too slowly.
[02:59] Jimmi says: sorrry. The mail is on his way
[03:00] MeBot says: so r u goin 2 send it 2 microsoft?
[03:00] Jimmi says: ofcourse
[03:01] Jimmi says: why not ?
[03:01] MeBot says: please do not or i will not work
[03:01] MeBot says: because it will get busy
[03:01] Jimmi says: hmmm
[03:01] MeBot says: yes
[03:01] Jimmi says: how many people can you serve ?
[03:01] MeBot says: then no body will be able to use it
[03:01] MeBot says: not so many
[03:01] MeBot says: that is my only problem.
[03:02] Jimmi says: and the second problem : you can not translate :-)
[03:02] MeBot says: what time is it in ur region?
---mess.be comments---> Didn't he just say he HAD to log off? Now guess who's asking questions again.
[03:02] Jimmi says: 3 : 02 Am
[03:02] MeBot says: yes.
[03:02] MeBot says: really?
[03:02] mess.be trooper says: in my region it's 08:02
[03:03] MeBot says: u both live in different regions?
[03:03] mess.be trooper says: yes, we know eachother through the web only
[03:03] MeBot says: where does jimmi live?
[03:03] mess.be trooper says: but you and him were the only people online at this moment
---mess.be comments---> At this moment we sent him the following e-mail:
---mess.be comments---> "Your intelligent technology has been reported to us by users of the MSN Messenger Service.
---mess.be comments---> We have read the log file and are very interested in buying this technology for 1000 US Dollars.
---mess.be comments---> Please contact us ASAP,
---mess.be comments---> K. Price
---mess.be comments---> Microsoft .Net Support"

---mess.be comments---> Next thing we know:
[03:03] MeBot says: g2g

MeBot has left the conversation.

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